My beloved pet dachshund Patches passed away Monday night, at about 7:15 p.m.
She gave us love, gentleness, and loyalty for 9 years.
She was such a sweet, gentle, and loving dog.
Uncomplaining, undemanding, unassuming.
All the adjectives that I can think of to describe her still do not come close to what she really was.
I will really miss her. The pain of separation, even from losing a pet dog, is deep. And in this kind of pain, I turn to my Abba Father for solace.
No comfort has come as yet.
Maybe it is because I have not been able to shed tears yet.
I started feeling the pain of loss two weeks ago, from the moment I realized that she could die anytime soon. There was a deep feeling of sadness -- a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach, a heaviness in my heart kind of feeling -- that came in.
I know that there may be many more important matters that people have to deal with. But I hope that no one will ever think or say, "It is only a dog."
Because that devalues and demeans what I am going through at this time.
A dear friend Nening said, "We grieve, but only for a time. God allows grief to our lives that He may comfort."
How very true. Her words somehow brought a ray of understanding...
The thought of heaven gives so much comfort. I truly believe that in heaven, my dear Patches and I will be reunited.
But for now, I will not look for external means to deal with my grief.
Rather than force the sadness to go away, I will embrace the pain, let this season of loss do a deep cleansing work in me... thank God for the emotional release, for the ability to feel.
Yes, thank God even for the sadness.
Legitimate sadness is not a bad thing. It is a normal part of life in this side of eternity, just as wounds are an inevitable part of being human.
As long as the emotions are kept clean, and wounds are not infected... growth and new life are sure to follow.
It just amazes me how a human being can receive love from an animal. Even more amazing is how an animal can give love and devotion and joy.
How creative our God is in making such meaningful relationships possible.
Surely emotions will be a beautiful part of our heavenly experience.
Isn't it amazing how the thought of heaven can bring so much hope and promise?
John in Revelation says it is the place where there is no death. And I pause to think, what was Eden like before death entered the picture?
What is it like to live a life of unending bliss and joy?
No disappointments? No pain of separation or loss?
To be honest, I cannot imagine what that kind of life is like, where sorrow and disappointment do not exist.
Yet the Bible says that there is such a place. Where there is no sorrow... no tears.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes;
there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.
There shall be no more pain,
for the former things have passed away.
-Revelation 21:4
No death... only life.
It is the presence of God that gives life to heaven. He is Life.
The tree of life is there... right in the middle of the river of life... and it has twelve kinds of fruit, one for each month... and the leaves are for the healing of the nations.
I have also often wondered what that tree will look like. It must be awesome to behold!
And the fruit... twelve kinds of fruit in one tree? And leaves that can heal nations?
These words go beyond my human comprehension...
And yet it does me good to meditate on God's words. To soak myself in His presence.
In His presence, words are not needed... because there are times when words only get in the way. Human words, that is.
When I read, or listen to, God's words, I understand that words are needed, like handles, to enable us to grasp what He wants to convey. But the true meaning of the words being used go much, much deeper. The full "concept" of the reality that those words stand for is something my finite mind can never fathom, while we exist here on earth.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face;
now I know in part, but then I know fully
just as I also have been fully known.
- I Corinthians 13:12
Full comprehension will come in heaven. But there is a sense in which a continued reading of His word brings light and opens up my understanding.
The entrance of Your words gives light,
It gives understanding to the simple.
-Psalm 119:130
I will soak myself in my Abba Father's presence. And there, where no words need to be spoken, I will allow my tears to fall...
The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.
- Proverbs 4:18
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