Thursday, June 25, 2015

On Being Broken...






Tomorrow our group the Women of Purpose will go to Don Salvador Benedicto for a three day weekend retreat.

I have been praying to Abba Father to give me the right theme for the devotional topics.

A few words kept repeating themselves over and over again in my heart...

Emptying...

Being poured out...

Brokenness...



Brokenness. It is an inevitable fact of human existence.

And yet we do not go through brokenness alone.

There is One who was willing to be broken and spilled out... that in our brokenness, we may turn to Him and receive healing.

I have walked with Jesus since 1973... I was a university freshman when I had a real encounter with the Redeemer of my soul... and I understood what turning the reins of my life over to Him truly meant.

That was more than 40 years ago.

This much I can say. The breaking is for a beautiful reason.

That we may be made truly whole.

For we won't stay broken forever.

There is a coming day of unbelievable beauty... and grace...

A coming day when all our questions will be answered.

And we will behold Him our Maker-Redeemer-Sustainer-Recreator-Lord... face to face.

And all darkness will be rolled away... and we will understand, just as we have been fully understood.


Meanwhile, my response is one of humble worship.

I am looking forward to our time of worship up in the mountains of Don Salvador Benedicto.



Here's a beautiful song. It leaves me speechless each time I listen to it.





Wednesday, March 25, 2015

On Being a Servant

The Provident Maidservant




But Jesus called them to Himself and said,

"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them,
and those who are great exercise authority over them.

Yet it shall not be so among you;
but whoever desires to become great among you,
let him be your servant.

And whoever desires to be first among you,
let him be your slave--

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served,
but to serve,
and to give His life a ransom for many."

- Matthew 20:25-28







Most urban Filipino homes rely on the services of a domestic helper to keep the house clean, cook meals, and many other daily chores. This is a give and take relationship, benefiting both the master and the servant. Many young women from the rural areas earn a living this way; the income they receive at the end of each month is a big help to their families. The family being served is only too happy to be relieved of the burden of doing the routine chores, freeing the man and woman of the home to pursue a career or livelihood confident that their needs are being met by someone they can trust.

My daughter, Obedient One, is privileged to have such an efficient maid living with her. Aiza has served us for three years already. What a tremendous help she has been to my daughter. This month, however, Aiza is home for her yearly vacation. So, I am in Manila for a few weeks to be with Obedient One.

Being a servant... this is not really a new thing for me. Growing up, I have seen servanthood being modeled before me and my sister by our parents. They taught us the dignity of hard work, the beauty of simplicity, the value of true humility.

In my growing up years, having household help was a privilege, not something to be demanded or expected.

I remember how Papa would always tell us, A woman who knows the value of hard work and who knows how to run her household will earn for herself a good  husband.

Seeing it modeled by my own earthly parents has its merits.

But seeing it modeled by Jesus Himself has made me desire to continually walk in servanthood and humility.

When my maid of 12 years left our home when my three children were only in elementary school, and both my husband and I had full times jobs, I was crushed.

From the day Ernie and I moved to Bacolod City, a year after we got married, there had never been a day that we did not have hired help doing the household work for us. 

I had become so dependent on my household helpers, that to suddenly find myself without one... was such a frightening prospect.

But that same night I bit the bullet and said to myself, "I do not want to live my life being dependent on somebody else to run my home for me."

Ernie and I agreed that it was time to teach our own children the value of work. We would only get a laundry woman twice a week. The rest of the work we would do ourselves, as a family.

It was very, very difficult at the start. But it was something we had also done as a family in my growing up years. I was grateful to have been given training by my wise father and mother.

Servanthood does something to your soul. It makes you humble.

It re-calibrates your expectations.

Being a servant doesn't allow a life of entitlement. You serve, you give of yourself... without expecting anything in return.

For my own sake, I had to learn what it means to serve with joy and gladness, not grudgingly, or with a complaining, resentful spirit. I saw my parents live it in their own lives.

But again, I have seen it in the life of Jesus.

Yes, I want to follow in the steps of my Master.

I went to Manila one week before my sixty-second birthday to serve my daughter.

She has a difficult schedule, and her office is several cities away from where she lives.

I know she appreciates all the help she can get.


Today was just a typical day for me. 

Because daughter leaves for work at 6:30 a.m., my day starts before dawn. I take a quick shower, then go down to prepare breakfast for both of us, and to pack her lunchbag for the day.

For breakfast: 
I boiled some sweet potatoes.

Cooked oatmeal.

Chopped garlic, tomatoes, bell peppers, and onions for the omelette... then cooked the omelette for breakfast.

Chopped some more garlic, onions, and bell peppers, diced the cooked chicken, and sliced the 
Chinese pechay (cabbage) for her lunch... then cooked the stir fry chicken and pechay dish.

Cut up the carrots, cucumber, celery, squash, and apple for juicing... then juiced the vegies and apple.

Set the table for breakfast... sliced the fruit... toasted the bread... sliced some cheese... etc.

Packed the lunch bag with snacks (raisins... dried fruit... cookies... some sweet potatoes) and the lunch.


Daughter and I then quickly ate breakfast together. 

As soon as daughter left for work, I continued to eat my breakfast, leisurely... did some reading at the same time.

After breakfast, I washed all the pots, pans, dishes, utensils, and cleaned the juicer. (We don't use electric dishwashers.) Dried the dishes and put them away, Cleaned the kitchen floor and counters till they were sparkling clean.

Fed the cat and the dog.

Swept the front yard, and back yard, and watered all the plants.

I rested a bit... then ate a late lunch.

After lunch, I did the laundry and hanged the clothes out to dry.

Then I gave daughter's dog George a thorough haircut... then gave him a bath... wiped him dry... brushed his fur.

Did some cleaning around the house.

By this time... I'm pooped. I'm not doing any more work.

I will eat a light supper later, and take a shower. Then I will have a little time for myself.

There's really not much time left for anything else... but this is my role these days. The house is big, and the gardens need looking after.

Daughter will come home at around 10 p.m.  Maybe even later. Tired from a long day at work... tired from traveling just to get home. But always happy to see me. She is always ready with stories to tell me.

I will sit up with her, serve her a bowl of bone broth... and iced tea with honey... some crackers with mango jam. And listen to her stories.

We will pray together, thanking God for how the day has been.

In bed, we will listen to soft worship music, until we both fall asleep.

Tomorrow is another day.

Servanthood. It is a literally a daily, routine thing.

The daily-ness of being a servant, day after day, is what builds the character. You have to be willing to do it, and find joy in serving others... or it will lose its redemptive purpose.

My life is not always like this, but for the next few weeks, this is how it will be.

And what makes my heart sing in the midst of it all... is the joy that fills my heart these days.

Thankful am I... for the opportunity to serve. Not everyone is given that privilege and honor.



Service is the language of grace.
- Dave Stone




Thursday, January 1, 2015

Expecting a Surprise





The year 2014 went by so quickly.

Suddenly she's gone... and all I have to hold on to are the memories of the events...

And the lessons.

So thankful am I for the lessons that each year leaves behind.

If I learn my lessons well, each year leaves me a little bit wiser than before.

And for this day's post, the first day of the new year, I have borrowed a line from Henri Nouwen's Bread for the Journey as my title.

It was years ago, when I was still the principal of our church school, that an intercessor walked into my office asking to pray for me. She was a foreigner, and I no longer remember her name. But one line in her prayer stayed with me: "Father, may she always have an expectation of good things coming into her life."

Really, that prayer changed the spiritual climate in my life.

That prayer has never left my heart.

And today, as another new year starts, I must be honest that I am not quite ready for another year. Things happened so fast, faster than my heart had time to process what was going on. And a part of me feels like I haven't left 2014.

Nevertheless, one has to face reality. The old year has gone... the new has come.

And that prayer is really just all that I have to hold on to for the moment.

Father, this year, may I always have an expectation of good things coming into my life.

Here is what Nouwen has to say about expecting good things to happen:

Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. (Bread for the Journey, January 1)


Friday, December 5, 2014

Faithful God







Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
- Psalm 46:10





A catastrophic storm is being forecast to hit our islands within the next 48 hours. 

The fury of Yolanda (international name Haiyan) which devastated many parts of our nation only a year ago is still very fresh in our minds. And so, with another impending tropical depression (international name Hagupit) which is said to be taking the same path Haiyan did, and with nearly the same intensity and force, we are driven to our knees, pleading with Almighty God to protect us.

Years ago, one week after typhoon Ondoy caused severe flooding and untold damage to Metro Manila Pastor Edgar of Victory QC said something that I will never forget. 

He said, "The floods in our lives serve one purpose, to drive us to seek Higher Ground."

How very true indeed.

Two months ago, I was down on my knees crying out to Abba Father for His protective hand to be upon my daughter in law and her baby who was about to be born one month premature. 

It is in times like those, when the circumstances we are facing are beyond our control, that we truly realize how helpless we are, and how utterly dependent we are on a Power and Force much greater than ourselves.



In sickness... in the face of natural calamities... and many other such situations, we come to the end of ourselves.

We can only bow before our Heavenly Father, the Faithful One, the God of the How Much More, and call out to Him for a way out of the storm.


You are So Faithful (Bob Fitts)

Like the sun that rises everyday,
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful
Like the rain that You send,
And every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord.

Like the rose that comes alive every spring,
You are so faithful, Lord, You are faithful,
Like the life that You give
To every beat of my heart
You are so faithful, Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that washed my sins away

In the midst of the storm
Through the wind and the waves
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You'll still be faithful
You'll still be faithful, Lord.






Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Welcome, Year of Advance!






For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
- Psalm 84:11




Rosh HaShanah this year will begin tonight, at sundown.

According to the Hebrew calendar, this is the year 5775, ayin he. The fifth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is written this way:






It stands for grace.

As I meditate on the significance of this day, I want to focus on  a few simple thoughts.

Abba Father, in this new year, is ready to pour out His grace upon our lives. But an emptying is required.

Just as Abram was at the end of his hopes for the promised son to become a reality, God meets him, and inserts he at the middle of his name. And Abram receives a new name, Abraham.

With the change of name, he is given a change of identity, and calling.

This year, I say to Abba Father, I am ready to advance and to move forward. Another level of emptying is required for this to happen.

Dying to self... my own goals and dreams for self-fulfillment... that God's kingdom purposes for me may be given room.

I embrace Psalm 84... as a pilgrim going through the Valley of Baca, with a heart that is hungry for more of God, I will transform it into a place of nourishment and fertility.


My Abba Father is a sun and shield... 

He bestows favor and honor...

No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.


These two quotes speak powerfully to me this morning:


We too are called to withdraw at certain intervals
into deeper silence and aloneness with God...
to be alone with Him--
not with our books, thoughts, and memories,
but completely stripped ove everything--
to dwell lovingly in His presence,
silent, empty, expectant, and motionless.
We cannot find God in noise or agitation.

-Teresa of  Calcutta


If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting,
which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments,
and set out on a truth-seeking journey,
either externally or internally,
and if you are willing to regard everything that happens to you
on that journey as a clue,
and if you can accept everyone you meet along the way
as a teacher,
and if you are prepared, most of all,
to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself,
then the truth will not be withheld from you.

-Elizabeth Gilbert





Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Comforter





But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things, And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.

- John 14:26 Amplified Bible



The past two days Abba Father has been speaking to my heart about the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

The fruit of the Spirit is 

Love... Joy... Peace...

Patience... Kindness... Goodness...

Faithfulness... Gentleness... Self-Control...


Only one fruit, but nine facets.

I've been soaking myself in these two verses found in Galatians 5:22-23.


Against such there is no law.

Nothing and no one will ever be able to stand or work against this fruit.


Cultivating this fruit in our lives is God's answer to the environment of death in which we live.

The fruit of the spirit has powerful, healing qualities.

But the most awesome thing about it is that the nine facets of the fruit are all found in God's heart. This fruit speaks of the very nature of God.

And it is available to you and me freely... abundantly... without measure.


Each part of the fruit is God's antidote to the toxic negative situations we find ourselves in.


A specific example is in the area of offense. There are people who are still easily offended even though they have been Christians a long time. Offended with life situations... offended with political decisions... offended even with harmless Facebook comments...

Then the on-line teaching I was listening to this morning mentioned this one simple statement, and I paused to let his words sink in:


If you're easily offended, it only shows one thing -
you do not have a relationship with the Holy Spirit as Comforter.



Wow... that's so simple, yet so deep.

Carrying an offense has a lot to do with feeling like you have to fight a battle, not necessarily your own. And it is a heavy burden to carry. Because, it also has a lot to do with self-righteousness.

And, I think that self-righteousness makes you want to protect your own interests and your rights, including your own treasured opinions, beliefs, and doctrines.

But, when we know the Holy Spirit as Comforter, we can let Him fight our battles for us, and let His comfort surround us like a "comforter" to keep us warm on a cold winter night.

The enemy lies to us, making us think we have a right to be offended.

But the truth is... we have no right to be offended! Not, if we are God's children.

For if God is our Father, then we have every right to be comforted and shielded from fighting battles that are not intended for us.

Beloved friend, if you are carrying a heavy burden of offense, put it down right now. Let our Comforter embrace you and cleanse you.

We have every right to be healed from the wounds that hold us back and weigh us down!

Healing is our birthright.


I love You my Abba Father...

I love You Jesus, my Savior, Redeemer, Lord...

I love You Holy Spirit, my Comforter, my Healer, my Guiding Light...




Wednesday, August 6, 2014

With the Breath of Kindness

Two Women Having Tea
by Frank H. Desch










But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.  Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
 - Dinah Maria Mulock Craik




This quote from Dinah Craik is undoubtedly my top favorite of all. What a beautiful picture it paints of kindness and gentleness. 


There are times when I say, without intending to, wrong and inappropriate things. What a blessing to have a friend with whom I can feel safe and accepted, "a faithful hand" who will take and sift my words, "keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."


Lack of tact, and lack of wisdom is definitely not condoned here. But there are times in our life when we need to pour our heart out to someone with skin on... and how liberating it feels to have someone like that who will not judge you or jump all over you, dig up all your past sins to hit you on the head with, and leave you feeling like you're outside the door, standing in the rain, with your broken heart in your hands.



Purple Flowers
by RoseAnn Hayes




The job of the artist is to offer a sanctuary of beauty to an ugly world.
- Jeff Goins